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About Varied / Hobbyist Premium Member MarlanaFemale/United States Group :iconanimedrawers: AnimeDrawers
 
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Who's your favorite KH character? 

23%
18 deviants said Sora
22%
17 deviants said Axel
21%
16 deviants said Roxas
18%
14 deviants said Riku
9%
7 deviants said Aqua
4%
3 deviants said Xion
1%
1 deviant said Kairi
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1 deviant said Namine
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A Pain That Will Never Go Away

Journal Entry: Fri Mar 27, 2015, 4:45 PM


I have been dealing with anxiety and depression all my life. And, sadly, it's been getting worse. :( 

It all started back when I was a kid: I never had any friends. The only "friends" I had were those who treated me like a doormat. Who used me, deceived me, and wounded me. I even was treated badly by them and among other issues.  It was always a miserable childhood. 

When I was told that I had autism, it all made sense. But, it still didn't erase the pain. I was still a lonely kid. :( I was ridiculed and was treated like a "social reject" so much when I was in elementary school, I ended up putting myself in isolation. I hid myself from the world and pushed people away because I was angry and afraid. I had even begged to God to take my life away many times because I was hurt so badly. :( 

In high school, things were better, but I was still lonely. :( I did finally find that "true friend" that I had searched for and that made my pain go away.

But, I refused to let the bad memories go. And, it has caught up to me. :( And, as a result, I tend to feel like I was going insane from time to time. :( Sometimes, I don't like the person I've become. :(

I often asked myself: "What's the point of me existing if I am doomed to always be alone?!"

But, I'm still here. And, even though I am in a bad state, I'm glad that I'm still here. And, that's because if I wasn't, I wouldn't have come so far with courage and faith. And, I always had people beside me and there was an angel for me in the skies. And, I feel like Heaven was always right by my side. :)

Skin Art & Coding (c) SillyTheWolf
  • Mood: Depressed
  • Listening to: I Am The Wind by Cynthia Harrell
  • Reading: This journal
  • Watching: nothing
  • Playing: IPod
  • Eating: I already ate
  • Drinking: Nestea

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burningrage8-13
Marlana
Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
United States
I'm a varied artist. I do paintings, drawings, and making jewelry for me to wear. I'm autistic. I love to meet new people and make friends, too. I'm very imaginative and creative. :)

:iconhappyroxasplz::iconhappyaxelplz::iconseasalticecreamplz:



What Element Of Harmony Are You?
What Element Of Harmony Are You?
Hosted By theOtaku.com: Anime

Are You A Tsundere Or A Yandere?
Are You A Tsundere Or A Yandere?
Hosted By theOtaku.com: Anime

Who Is Your Ideal KH Guy?
Who Is Your Ideal KH Guy?
Hosted By theOtaku.com: Anime

What Organization XIII Member Are You?
What Organization XIII Member Are You?
Hosted By theOtaku.com: Anime

What Style Fits You?
What Style Fits You?
Hosted By theOtaku.com: Anime

Your result for Disney Princess Personality Test...

Mulan

The Hero...



Your result for The what element are you? Test...

Fire

You scored 200 elemental!

Your element is fire you are passionate and strong

Take The what element are you? Test at HelloQuizzy



Your result for The Which Element are you? Test...

Fire

You scored 52 Earth, 17 Air, 18 Water, and 41 Fire!

Fire is your element. You are a person ruled by thoughts and emotions. You can get angry often, but rarely stay that way. Friends and family play an important role in your life, and you love that they do.

Take The Which Element are you? Test at HelloQuizzy



What Anime Hair Color Best Suits Your Personality?
What Anime Hair Color Best Suits Your Personality?
Hosted By theOtaku.com: Anime

Your result for The Which Holiday Best Suits You? Test...

Halloween!

45% New Year's Eve, 48% Valentine's Day, 41% St. Patrick's Day, 30% Easter, 54% 4th of July, 24% First Day of Summer, 70% Halloween, 42% Thanksgiving and 43% Christmas!

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The best holiday for you is Halloween!! There could be many reasons why you got this--you love free candy, wearing costumes, and partying with your friends.  Maybe you have kids, and Halloween is one of the most popular holidays among children. 


 Maybe fall is your favorite season, and when Halloween comes around, that's when you can get the best hayrides, pumpkin picking, etc.  The foliage this time of year is amazing.  Whatever your likes, next year, celebrate Halloween in style!  If you've never donned a costume, do it! Make your own or just pick up something silly from the local cheapo-mart.  The best thing about Halloween is that even a sheet with holes for eyes is appreciated as a good costume!  Also, you're never too old to Trick-or-Treat, but if you're past a certain age, you might get the cops called on you.


You got 70 for Halloween--if that number's high, you DEFINITELY love Halloween.  If it's low, it means you either love all holidays or none.  Try retaking the test if you got a low Halloween percentage, got this result, and you're unhappy about it.

Take The Which Holiday Best Suits You? Test at HelloQuizzy



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Thank You Hatsune Miku-13 (Wink and Heart) 
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